Candle In The Wind
by Summersetlights
Summary: "She was the candle in the wind. He knew from the beginning that her light would blow out sometime. He knew that someday, though he wasn't sure when, she'd be nothing but cold wax."


**_Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. And I don't own Fleetwood mac. I got inspiration by one of the songs. Just look up any song by them and you'll fall in love._**

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><p>She was the candle in the wind. He knew from the beginning that her light would blow out sometime. He knew that someday, though he wasn't sure when, she'd be nothing but cold wax. She'd be nothing but a solid, hard substance. And he knew that it would be all his fault. He knew that he would be to blame. He was that dark wind that blew her out. And as that dark shadow, he made sure that she stayed down.<p>

He felt his whole world changing. Changing like the seasons and children. Changing in a way that he didn't understand and didn't want to. The changes left a bitter after-taste in his mouth. A sour and hard feeling that couldn't be swallowed down with water. It would be only swallowed down with the sweet scent of the girl that he blew out. He wished that she could become a flame again. And he would promise that he wouldn't blow her out. He would keep that promise.

But, nothing had ever came easy to Elijah Goldsworthy. Life had never given him a small break. And because of that, he let it eat him up. He let the breaking of his bones during the crash squeeze him and strangle him. The gut-wrenching scream as he watched his girlfriend die. The laugh of the girl that wasn't his. His mother that was depressed when he was and his father that was just trying to put everything back together. Everything was a blur and unfocused. His life was becoming something that he didn't recognize. It was becoming something that scared him.

Her name? The one that has him up at night? The one that has him smile every now and then, before he remembers that terrible night? That would be Clare Edwards. Her hair fits around her head like a halo. Her cheeks are rosy and they look warm. Her blue eyes used to sparkle with something fierce and beautiful. But not anymore. Now, Elijah Goldsworthy doesn't even know who she is. She looks pale and sick. Her blue eyes are like two black sockets of nothing. It scares him. And he hated it. Because he knows that he's to blame.

But Eli also wonders if Jake Martin is also to blame. He seems nice, but Eli can't help but get a weird vbe from him. He's cocky and a bit pushy. Like I said, he's nice. But Eli knows that there's something off with the kid. Or, it's starting to dawn on him that maybe, he's seeing what he wants to see. He wants to see Jake as a jackass. He wants to see him as a jerk that'll crush Clare's heart. Eli wonders sometimes, when he's sitting alone and looking at the two lovebirds, if he and Clare had looked like that. Like nothing else was in the world. And he wonders if she thinks about him every once in a while. If she looks at the stars and remembers his wish at the party. If she sees a hearse and thinks of all the midnight adventures in Morty.

But most of all, he wonders if she thinks of him.

The hope of that is becoming increasingly difficult to believe.

And every time that he hobbles down the hallway, and he sees Clare and Jake being silly teenagers, he can only think one thing.

Love's a bitch.

.

.

He's taking time for himself. The play that he directs is leaving him feeling light and airy. His partner, Fiona Coyne, is a good friend. She's a bit odd, but so is he. Her prada and his guyliner fit perfectly together in a way that seems unconventional. And then the leading lady, Imogen Moreno. She's an odd one, but she's fun and she helps Eli learn that it is okay to be happy.

But still, Clare Edwards is always on his mind. Her voice still haunts his thoughts and feelings. And he's coming to terms with it. He's learning that maybe he doesn't have to get over her in two months. It took a long time to realize. It took six months, to be exact. It took six months to realize that maybe he wasn't the wind that blew Clare out. Maybe, she blew herself out. And Eli's beginning to realize how while he was at fault, so was she. This realization is facinating to him.

Maybe he isn't as horrible as he used to believe.

Though, even now, he still looks at Clare when he's eating lunch. When Imogen and Fiona chat with enthusiasm, Eli glances at her and admires the way she bites her lip and throws her head back in laughter. Everything about her lights something in him.

And on one particular day, as Eli was eating his sandwich, he caught a light scent travel in his nostrils. The sweet lavender swirled and twirled and he knew at once that Clare Edwards was near. He glanced up, and his eyes caught blue ones. Blue ones that became brighter as their contact became more intense. But after a few seconds, she passed by completely to meet up with Jake and Eli turned back to Fiona. But something was different about Eli.

Instead of a smirk, a grin was planted on his plump lips.

The candle in his body sparked up.

And he knew that he was slowly curing himself.

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><p><strong><em>A little bit of hope at the end! ;)<em>**

**_Review, please? _**


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